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excruciating seinfeld minutiae no one cares about

crib notes




I'm not saying she's deaf. She's DEAF.

(S07, E04: The Wink)

This episode starts with Jerry, George, and Elaine having a conversation at Monk's about blind dates and deaf dates, which eventually transitions into whether they'd rather date the blind or the Deaf.

Jerry says he'd rather date the Deaf. Why is he saying this? He literally HAS dated the Deaf -- he dated Laura the lineswoman (the BL) two years earlier in "The Lip Reader." This wasn't some one-off encounter: they had dinners together and then went to the party where she tried to lip read. There is no way the whole gang wouldn't remember this.

I understand the writers aren't going to derail the episode to reference this old story, but the fact that Jerry wonders so innocently about this whimsical notion of dating a Deaf person, when he LITERALLY HAS dated one on the show in a very memorable episode, is absolutely insane.


What is this salty discharge?

(S04, E07: The Bubble Boy)

Jerry and Elaine are eating at Monk's. Mel Sanger, whose son we learn is the titular Bubble Boy, approaches their table. He introduces himself and sits down. As he's telling his son's sad story, Elaine starts crying and has to dab her eyes with a napkin. Mel does, too.

Obviously, they're doing this to serve as juxtaposition for Jerry, who takes a napkin from Elaine to wipe his mouth instead (a great moment). 

Except. .  . story wise, nothing Mel has said so far would really warrant tears from Elaine, and she's playing it completely straight.


All he's said at this point is, "Ah, it'd break your heart seeing him in there. He's like a prisoner. No friends, just his mother and me. And I'm out there six days a week hauling Yoo-hoo. We have sacrificed everything, all for the sake of our little bubble boy."

And Elaine is crying? So quickly? Come on. I can understand her looking bummed or shocked or maybe even shedding one tear; it's true that she wasn't as bitter in the earlier seasons. But Mel is delivering the story in a very light tone and her crying here just isn't believable. And she keeps crying for 30-40 more seconds after that. It completely takes me out of the scene!

He's very independent. He doesn't follow the trends.

(S07, E10: The Gum)

A large part of this episode involves George trying to retrieve a $20 bill back from Monk's cashier Ruthie Cohen. He is able to identify it because he claims he's drawn big lips on Jackson's portrait.

Toward the end of the episode, George (dressed as King Henry VIII) tries to buy gum at a storefront window, when Larry David as the attendant says, "I beg your pardon, your majesty, but we don't accept bills with lipstick on the president," revealing that George had the bill on him the whole time.

I get that they needed a way to show that George had the $20, but what neighborhood bodega (or really, business altogether) would turn down perfectly legal tender because there's a small illustration on it? . . . Really? This makes no sense. Larry could've made some other snarky comment about the lips, especially given George's flamboyant costume, but saying he doesn't ACCEPT the bill is ridiculous.

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